What Is the Dark Triad? 12 Signs to Know, According to a Therapist

We’ve all likely heard of narcissism and psychopathy, but did you know that it’s possible to show signs of both—plus a third set of manipulative traits? It’s called the dark triad, and it’s a way researchers study personality. To learn more about how to spot the dark triad—and whether folks who fall into its boundaries can overcome it—I reached out to Erin Pash, LMFT.

Erin Pash, LMFT, is the CEO and Founder of Pash Co, a company dedicated to developing businesses that enhance social health and human connection. Pash holds a Master’s degree and Minnesota state license in Marriage and Family Therapy, and is recognized by both the Minnesota and American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy as a Clinical Supervisor and Clinical Fellow. She is also an accomplished author, professional speaker and content creator.

Pash tells me that the dark triad is a term for three negative personality traits that often show up together: narcissism (being extremely self-centered), Machiavellianism (manipulating others for personal gain) and psychopathy (lacking empathy and being impulsive). She explains, “These traits all involve putting yourself first at others' expense, but in different ways.” The dark triad isn’t officially diagnosed, Pash says, rather it’s a concept researchers use to study personality. “Some parts overlap with actual clinical diagnoses like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but having dark triad traits doesn't automatically mean someone has a mental disorder that can be diagnosed,” she says.

According to Pash, warning signs to look out for include someone who:

• Acts like they're better than everyone else
• Doesn't seem to care when others are hurt
• Uses people to get what they want
• Shows little genuine emotion or connection
• Lies frequently without guilt
• Can't keep close relationships
• Takes big risks without thinking
• Has charm that feels fake or "too perfect"
• Never admits when they're wrong
• Constantly seeks attention and praise
• Treats people like tools rather than people
• Gets vengeful when they feel disrespected

Just like when you’re dealing with a narcissist, rules and boundaries are crucial when it comes to having any sort of relationship with someone you suspect has these traits. Pash adds that you should also keep your personal information to yourself, write down what happens in your interactions if needed, focus on their actions, not their explanations and try to avoid getting emotionally hooked by their behavior. Finally, make sure you have a support system you can talk to, whether that’s close friends and family or a mental health professional.

In addition to ensuring you’re not trying to be their therapist or savior, Pash suggests not:

• Getting into arguments or power battles
• Expecting them to understand your feelings
• Believing they've changed without real proof
• Cutting yourself off from friends and family
• Taking their manipulation personally
• Compromising what you believe in to keep peace

Good news: Though Pash says it isn’t easy, change is possible—especially for folks with milder traits who see how their behavior hurts themselves and others—but happens slowly and with constant effort. “Most importantly, the person has to want to change—outside pressure rarely works long-term,” she concedes. In order to attempt to turn things around, a person should take these steps:

• Recognize their own problems and truly want to change
• Seek professional help from therapists who specialize in these issues
• Work on specific harmful behaviors one at a time rather than trying to change everything at once
• Work on learning empathy through structured practice, which can help develop this missing skill
• Have consequences for bad behavior to motivate better choices